Lampwick's Funny Adventures
by Hokuto Uchiha
Summary: A series of one-shots featuring Lampwick as he gets into all sorts of mischief. Rated T just in case. Some are parodies of sketches and other cartoons, some aren't.
1. Go to Sleep, Gramps!

**Author's Note: **This one-shot is a parody of the Popeye cartoon, _Poopdeck Pappy_, the one where Popeye keeps trying to get his dad to go to sleep.

* * *

><p><strong>Go to Sleep, Gramps!<strong>

It was a peaceful night in the village. Everybody was in bed for the night…well, everyone except for one family: The Bruno family.

* * *

><p>Remigio and Stefania Bruno were getting ready for a night out at a nice restaurant. Remigio's parents, Edoardo and Angelina Bruno, volunteered to keep an eye on the children.<p>

"Have a good time," Angelina called to the couple as they exited the house.

* * *

><p>Later, it was bedtime. Romeo (a.k.a. Lampwick) and three of his younger siblings, Rafaella, Domenico, and Loreta, were helping to set up their grandparents' bed.<p>

"Okay, Gramps, Granny," Lampwick said. "Bedtime."

* * *

><p>Edoardo was sneaking to the door while his wife got in bed. "Okay, Romeo, I'll be right there." He opened the door, only to find Domenico and Loreta on the other end!<p>

"Going somewhere, _Nonno_?" Loreta asked.

"_Si," _said Edoardo. "Nonno is going out. Now, excuse me." He tried pushing past Domenico and Loreta, but failed, as the two children pushed him back into the house.

"Listen, Nonno," Rafaella said. "You're seventy-nine years old. You can't go out every night like you used to."

Edoardo started crying, when Lampwick came out.

"What's _he_ crying for?" Lampwick asked.

"Dunno," said Loreta.

"I'm sorry, _nipotini_," Edoardo said. Then he held his hand out. "Shake?"

Lampwick shrugged, then took his grandfather's hand. Unfortunately, Edoardo threw him and ran out the door!

"Oh, that is it!" said Lampwick. He took Loreta's jump rope and managed to lasso his grandfather back into the house.

"Hey, let go, Romeo!" Edoardo protested.

"C'mon, help me carry Gramps to bed!" Lampwick ordered Rafaella, Domenico, and Loreta. All three of them proceeded to drag a shouting Edoardo to bed.

* * *

><p>"Now, go to sleep, Gramps," said Lampwick.<p>

"One of us should stay in here with Nonno and _Nonna_," Rafaella suggested.

"You're right," said Domenico. "Who's it gonna be?"

"I will," Lampwick said.

Angelina smiled at her eldest grandchild. "Oh, that's not necessary, Romeo."

"Granny, I'm staying in here so Gramps doesn't try anything," Lampwick said, his mind made up. He went to the room he shared with Domenico and got a blanket and pillow, then lay them on the floor next to his grandparents' bed. Domenico and the girls went to bed.

Lampwick turned the light off. "Good night, Granny."

"Good night, Romeo," said Angelina.

"Good night, Gramps," said Lampwick. No response. "I said, 'Good night, Gramps'."

"Eddie?" Angelina said. She turned on the light.

"What the—?" Lampwick exclaimed. His grandfather wasn't in bed! Where was the guy?

"Nonna, Lampy!" Loreta said, running into her grandparents' room. "Nonno went out the door and into town!"

"Oh no," Angelina said and face palmed.

* * *

><p>Lampwick ran out the door after Edoardo. He found the old man sauntering down the street and snuck up on him.<p>

"AGH!" Edoardo exclaimed and jumped back in fright when his grandson came out of nowhere. "Romeo!"

"Back to bed, Gramps," Lampwick scolded.

"Aw, man," Edoardo whined. He pouted the whole way home.

* * *

><p>Once they were back home, Lampwick put shackles on his grandfather's legs to keep him from running out in the middle of the night. "Alright, Gramps, you're staying in bed whether you like it or not."<p>

"I hate relatives!" Edoardo complained when Lampwick hoisted him into bed next to Angelina.

Lampwick turned the light off. "Good night, Granny."

"Good night, Romeo."

"Good night, Gramps. I said, 'Good night, Gramps'," Lampwick said. Then Angelina turned on the light.

"He's gone again!" said Lampwick. He tried getting up. "When I get my hands on that old man—Whoa!" He fell down just as he was about to run out the door.

* * *

><p>Once he was free of the shackles around his ankles, Lampwick ran into town again. There, he found Edoardo at a bar, dancing with a young woman. He walked up to his grandfather and the girl. "Excuse me, miss." Lampwick pulled his grandfather away. "Gramps, you're going home, and that's final."<p>

"No, you can't make me!" Edoardo said childishly. He kicked and screamed the whole way home.

* * *

><p>Back home, Lampwick now had to make a net around Edoardo. "Bet ya can't get out of this one, Gramps, ha!" After he was done, he lay down and turned the light off. "Good night, Granny."<p>

"Good night, Romeo."

"Good night, Gramps," said Lampwick. "I said, 'Good night, Gramps'!"

"Eddie, answer your grandson," said Angelina. She turned the light back on and was surprised to see Lampwick inside the very net he made for his grandfather.

"Hey!" Lampwick exclaimed in surprise when he saw what predicament he was in. "Agh! It's times like this I hate being your grandson, Gramps!"

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: <strong>_Nonno_- Grandpa

_Si- _Yes

_Nipotini- _Grandchildren

_Nonna- _Grandma


	2. Lampy and Company: The Musical

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _Popeye _or _Pinocchio_. They belong to their respective creators.

* * *

><p><strong>Lampy and Company: The Musical<strong>

Lampwick was babysitting his younger brothers and sisters: Rafaella, Domenico, Loreta, the triplets Vincente, Rina, and Gilberto, and baby Eufemia. Loreta and the triplets were showing off their musical talent, and Rafaella and Domenico were paying attention, while Lampwick was trying very hard to stay awake but failing. Eufemia was already asleep in her crib.

Loreta and the triplets saw that Lampwick was asleep in their father's La-Z Boy recliner and started blasting their music; this woke the eldest Bruno child up.

"AAHHH! I didn't do it! I was framed!" Lampwick shouted as he jumped out of his father's favorite chair.

"Calm down, Lampy, it's just Loreta and the triplets," said Rafaella.

"Yeah, idiot," Domenico said.

"Uh, right…I knew that," said Lampwick. He addressed the four children with the instruments and sheet music. "Well, guys, you've practiced really well since Mom and Dad hired those tutors. Now it's time for bed." Rafaella and Domenico skipped off to bed, leaving Lampwick alone with Loreta, Vincente, Rina, and Gilberto.

Loreta and the triplets pinned Lampwick to the floor.

"No, Lampy!" said Rina.

"We wanna hear a story first!" said Loreta.

"We don't wanna go to bed yet!" Vincente said.

"Yeah, no bed! Story!" Gilberto agreed.

"Okay, okay, I'll tell you guys a story, then you have to get to bed," said Lampwick. "Why don't you get ready?"

Loreta and the triplets got ready in a flash, getting into their sleepwear, brushing their teeth, and washing up before bed. Then they joined Lampwick in their father's chair.

"Once upon a time…" the triplets recited excitedly.

"There was a little red hooding ride that said, 'Oh, Grandma, what big feet you've got!'" Lampwick said. To emphasize the feet part, he took his sock off and showed his sibs one of his feet, which, unfortunately, didn't smell too great. "So he chopped off his head with a giant beanstalk and they lived happily ever after. Okay, you've gotta go to bed now or Mom and Dad won't let me see _Star Wars _with Pinocchio and Alexander." He picked up Loreta and the triplets and carried them to bed.

"Hey, we were robbed!" Loreta said.

"That's no story!" Vincente said.

"We want a real story!" said Gilberto.

"Give us a real story, Lampy!" said Rina.

* * *

><p>In the room the Bruno siblings shared, Rafaella, Domenico, Vincente, Loreta, Rina, and Gilberto knelt by their bed, praying.<p>

"Bless Geppetto, and Pinocchio, and Alexander, and the Coachman—even though he's a meanie—and Stromboli—even though he's annoying—and Mommy, and Daddy, and Grandma, and Grandpa, and Lampy," the kids said and hopped into bed. Then they got out and knelt by their beds again. "And bless Philip and Aurora and their new baby." Then they hopped into bed again.

"Okay, good night," Lampwick said quickly when his siblings were in bed. He bolted to the bathroom and quickly brushed his teeth and washed up before bed. Instead of going to bed, however, Lampwick bolted to the living room, grabbed a blanket and pillow the family used for guests, and made himself comfortable on his father's recliner. Then he turned on the TV and got ready to watch a scary movie.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, Loreta and the triplets were sitting in bed, bored out of their skulls. Loreta was running her foot along the headboard of her bed; Vincente was flipping a book's pages like a deck of cards; Rina was trying to slap a fly that kept on landing on her bed; and Gilberto played with a loose spring coming out of his mattress.<p>

The four sibs discovered that what they were doing made some kind of music, so they kept on doing it. Then they made instruments out of stuff in their room and continued playing and being noisy. The noise got so bad it woke Rafaella, Domenico, and Eufemia up; Eufemia started crying, so Rafaella and Domenico tried in vain to comfort her and help her get back to sleep.

"Will you guys cut it out?" Rafaella said in a stern manner.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, Lampwick was watching the scary movie he wanted on TV. "Don't go in there!" Too late. "I told you not to go in there! Geez." Just then, he couldn't hear a word the actors in the movie were saying because of some loud music. "What the—?"<p>

Lampwick got up out of his father's recliner and went to investigate the noise. He spotted the radio in the hallway and turned it off. The music stopped for a moment, then continued. He picked the radio up and smashed it on the floor, and when it wouldn't stop, Lampwick stepped on various parts of the broken device. That was when he heard the noise coming from the room he shared with his siblings.

* * *

><p>Loreta and the triplets were playing their instruments, then stopped when they heard their bedroom door open. They pretended to be asleep when Lampwick poked his head in. Lampwick closed the door, and they continued with the music, then stopped and again pretended to be asleep when Lampwick poked his head in a second time.<p>

"Ah-ha," Lampwick said with a sly smile, figuring out that it was Loreta and the twins who were making the noise. He slowly closed the door and kept on poking his head in when he heard the sound of music coming from the room. He then kept on poking his head into the room from any place he could think of: from the bedroom window, the dresser, and under the floor.

* * *

><p>Finally, Lampwick had had enough and ran back to the living room. When he still couldn't concentrate on his movie, he took the recliner and the TV, and put them both outside on the porch.<p>

"At last," Lampwick sighed in relief. Once again, he heard his siblings playing very loudly. The sounds drove him nuts, so he screamed and ran to Pinocchio's house to watch his movie.


End file.
